“What happened when I arranged 6 months of weekly sex with my F**k friend?

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Courtney was tired of the nasty Tinder broadcast-so he organized a weekly party with her nearest ex.

Joe* re-entered my life during my lifetime Leisure It’s numbing boredom, physical dissatisfaction, and being with someone I don’t like that much. In order to exercise the right to sex, this is a casual sex. In other words, it is below par.

Joe and I have a history. We failed to date 15 months ago (in the end he told me, “If we stop talking or hanging out, we won’t suffer so much damage”). then, Failed intercourse Six months (in the end he ignored my request to actually solve what we have been doing and what it means).

When I first met Joe at uni a few years ago, I became very struggling and it was difficult to get rid of it. Because Joe is the one who everyone conceptualizes as an ideal. He is an enterprising person, so he is not a bastard, he is very talented, so he can have conversations on any political or philosophical issues that may arouse your fantasies and infinite charm. But most importantly, Joe is pragmatic.

This may help explain how we came to a possessive Scheduled sex. We first dated, then broke up, and then wentssip, which led us to the good idea of ​​starting a relationship again.

Put it in the diary

You might say that our crazy plan was doomed to fail from the beginning, and I say that you are completely correct about it.

To be fair, in the beginning, arranging sex with Joe seemed to be a logical solution to my casual sexual distress. This is a gathering of people I know often. People I know will prioritize my happiness instead of being bored by nonsense caused by casual sex scenes. It also saves time and frees me to pursue other people I am passionate about. The whole situation is utopian-I am a sex genius! Call me Samantha (Samantha effing Jones)! Except for the fact that I may love Joe to myself, and he will never love me again and deceive himself!

Deep down, I know it will never work. However, nothing is more effective than the verification provided by people who have rejected you and forced you to make suspicious life decisions. Of course, they won’t look like a terrible life until after you have been trapped for five months, have sex regularly and planned, and the kind of tears you cry make Kim Kardashian make money. Decided because he sent him a sextet, and then he replied, “Good to know”.

plan

Except for the inevitable heartbreaking things, this is how we organize things: we will send messages to each other at the beginning of each week to see how our schedule is, and then write at a time that suits both of us for sex. pencil. As part of the agreement, we will give priority to other people instead of contacting each other outside of the scheduled time we specify and agree to keep the call only between us. Finally, we decided to allow overnight stay.

After conducting this pornography experiment for three weeks, after becoming a person who always has to have sex, I decided to silently strike out-if he wants to have sex, he can organize sex. When Wednesday night arrived and he still hadn’t sent a message, I was very angry. I sent a message asking if he wants to sleep together that week. He replied, yes, we should “coordinate at some point.” He ignored my follow-up actions. After more silence, I asked on Thursday night: “How do I go?” Two hours later, I received a reply telling me that he was fully booked that week, sorry.

Considering that he is a master’s student, this is frustrating than giving old retired bingo players more time. I expressed my dissatisfaction, he apologized, we changed gears, and agreed to proceed on the set date (Wednesday) to eliminate the need for weekly coordination. I put it in iCal, and then we took a step forward.

Unfortunately, poor communication skills are not the only problem with this arrangement.

See others

If you, like Joe and I, agree that we should see other people first, then when you both hear that each other is dating a new person, you will need to accept the difficulties. In addition to having sex with them, you need to feel at ease with their sex life. And you will need to be strong enough to answer a friend’s question, such as: “If he is dating someone else, does that mean he is ready for a relationship?” or “How do you do this, don’t you?”

Because it’s hard. Being able to understand from the knowledge that we can love more than one person at a time does not automatically exclude you from jealousy and insecurity. In this case, it’s important to be nice to yourself.

Don’t get me wrong, it is good to arrange sex with someone who cares about sex. You can try what you have always wanted to do safely, and your sex life is better than ever because of being with someone you can easily express what you like and dislike.

However, just as you should not have second-rate sex with strangers for short-term self-satisfaction, you should not get along with people who do not care about you that much.

There are two potential reasons why I lied to myself for so long: 1. Admitting that the truth of this person has never felt too painful like me, or 2. Admitting that I have become the biggest fucking cliché in the book, yes Regular intercourse-“good friends”, this is too painful. -With someone, secretly hope that it will succeed, but know that it will never be.

I don’t think that all iterations of voluntary non-monogamy are doomed to failure. I believe that regular sex can be useful for people who do not have unrequited love and provide effective and honest communication.

In the end, I met the reality that I could do better on Wednesday night than after having masochistic intercourse with someone who didn’t like me, I stopped having sex with Joe.

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