Over the weekend, a celebrity made headlines for allegedly unique fetishes. Should you worry about what your partner likes? We asked Dr. Lurve, an expert on sex and relations.
We have been reading and hearing about celebrity relationships, but not every day, but it’s creepy, desire Make the headlines. If you don’t know what we are talking about (by the way, he strongly refutes the rumors), we will not go into the details, just Google Armie Hammer. But we do have some questions about whether these types of kinks should cause concern. Are they just a fantasy, or are there subtle differences between the two? fantasy And reality?
“There can be a lot of power dynamics in a sexual relationship, so you don’t have to worry about whether your partner likes Dominant,” she said, adding that their preference for bedrooms usually does not reflect who they are.
“The person who is dominant in the bedroom is not necessarily dominant in daily life, so what happens in the bedroom does not always reveal a person’s personality.”
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When it starts to make you feel uncomfortable or threatened, you need to be very careful and give some examples of red flags to pay attention to.
“In any case, if you feel upset or scared, it shows that you should discuss some boundaries with your partner or reconsider your participation,” she said.
“Although rough sex and BDSM practices can be seen as being on the verge of violent games, if at any time you feel threatened or as if things have become too much, it is important to stop.”
Some red flags include:
∙ If your intuition makes you feel uneasy.
∙If you disobey, your partner threatens to use violence.
∙If you have ever felt that this experience is more like rape or sexual assault.
∙If your partner makes you feel ugly or unwelcome, or does not respect you.
∙If your basic needs are not met, for example, if they withhold things such as medical care, water, food or clothing.
If you are curious about BDSM, rough sex, or any other fetish that includes a game of power, then communication is absolutely crucial, whether it’s with a partner in a loyal relationship or something more casual. It also requires preemptive action, rather than reacting to certain things.
“Don’t wait until things feel uncomfortable to start,” Dr. Lurve said.
“It is also important to realize that if you set the boundaries beforehand, but once you start the activity, you feel that you may have misjudged things, and then you can change your mind.”
Talking about boundaries may not sound so sexy, but in fact Dr. Lurve said it may be the opposite.
“Talking about the topic of boundaries with your partner is not necessarily embarrassing or uncomfortable, in fact, it can be very sexy,” she said.
“You can learn more about what you like and consider using practice as a way of foreplay.”
Dr. Lurve said that consent is another non-negotiable issue, and you and your partner have made it clear that you are willing to participate.
“For rough sex and BDSM, you are essentially playing with the threshold of pain and power dynamics, so you must treat this with the utmost responsibility and care,” she said.
What if they like it but I don’t?
“It may be normal that the interests of couples do not match exactly, but when the different interests are of a bedroom nature, the situation becomes complicated,” Dr. Lurve said.
“The best advice I can give is to focus on the communication aspects of things. By being open and willing to explore and communicate, you can all find ways to satisfy your desires.”