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The parents of every child in a locked state either know this fact or are about to understand the fact that you cannot choose where they find their happiness.
For example, my two and a half year old son likes to listen to Thomas and Friends Storytime podcasts. In a way, this is his favorite thing to do. Similarly, the “toot” at the beginning of the podcast is my least favorite sound on the entire planet, and now every time I hear it, it activates my fight or flight reflex. But due to some evolutionary quirks, I found myself unable to deny my boy’s train performance because it gave him the kind of happiness that an adult who doesn’t use Class A drugs can’t get.
Nevertheless, what I really face is how much I hate this show and the train in it. Some of it can be attributed to entering our fourth week of lock-in period, and there is no end in sight. Most of it can be attributed to Thomas and friends story time is a bad show about trains that I hate.
There are many Interesting reason I hate this show, but I won’t discuss any of them here. This is just a list of all the trains in the show, sorted by how much I hate them. This ranking is not certain. Those in a similar situation to me may wish to make a list of trains they hate from their kids’ train podcasts. It doesn’t need to be a train podcast that drives you crazy in lockdown. However, for me—I can’t really emphasize this—it is.
9. Nia
Nia is the least objectionable train in my son’s train podcast, probably because she has too little talk time. I can’t tell you much about Nia, except that she was painted orange, which is good, and she was once asked to take an elephant to the Sodor Animal Park, and the elephant ran away, which is not.
8. Gordon
Many people don’t like the tall and rude Gordon, but I have a kind of affection for this train, because his contempt for all the other trains on Todo Island is very close to mine. There are not many Gordon-centric episodes in Thomas and his friends’ story time, but it seems that to make up for this, the actor yells every line of his with a disturbing volume. Gordon is not as adventurous as other trains, and seems to be very keen on the core business of “becoming a train.” It is for this reason that his ranking is not high.
7. Henry
Someone told me that there was a famous episode in an old TV show in which Henry was buried in a tunnel forever as punishment for disobedience. When I said that if this happened on any train in Thomas and friends’ story time, I didn’t exaggerate, I would take off my shirt and run around in the living room like I just won the World Cup.
It’s a shame that Henry was not buried alive in the podcast.
6. Diesel
Diesel is a diesel-powered shunting engine, which is the closest thing Thomas and Friends Storytime has to rivals. Why is he the villain? Well, when Pastor W. Awdry dreamed of the magical Todo Island to please and entertain a generation of children, he decided to establish a blood feud between diesel engines and steam-powered engines. I can only assume that he did this for his own unpredictable Protestant reasons, and the end result is a completely inconsistent sectarian tension that runs through the entire series. Diesel is the leader of the diesel faction on Toto Island and once stolen a Christmas tree. pitiful.
5. Rebecca
My son has some episodes that he likes more than others. Thomas’ animal friends, with Rebecca as the protagonist, is his favorite episode, so I know Thomas’ animal friends better than any media or artwork I have encountered. I know more about what happened in Thomas’ animal friends than anything that happened in my real life (including the birth of my son). It is for this reason that I hope to see Rebecca the Large Tender Engine be destroyed by a large amount of explosives.
4. The grumpy crane
I will be the first person to admit that Cranky The Crane is not a train. He is still on my list.
3. James
In 1896, the Lumière brothers premiered their film The train arrives at La Ciotat stationThis is a 50-second clip of a train arriving at the station. When it was first shown in Paris, the audience was terrified and they ran out of the room screaming. This is prescient, because 125 years have passed. When James The Red Engine appears in any episode of Thomas And Friends Storytime, this is my exact reaction.
James is called “Interesting Engine”. First of all, this is a lie. James does nothing at any point in any plot, and can even be generously described in these terms. The podcast insists that James is a comedian, which may be the reason why I got over the edge during the lock-in period, tore our speakers from the wall, and then brought them and myself into happy traffic.
2. Thomas
The only reason why this person is not ranked first is that we were in the park a few days ago, and my son stretched out his arms and ran down the path and said, “Beep, I am Thomas!” There is a big smile on his face, this is me. The best thing that happened in Zhou.
Despite this, Thomas is a huge rubbish, no doubt. JRR Tolkien once said, “The cellar door” is the most beautiful phrase in English. This is just because he has never heard of the phrase “Thomas Tank engine was turned into an atom by the beam weapon of the future.”
1.Percy
Therefore, by default, the green engine Percy is the engine I hate most in Thomas and friends story time. He appears in most episodes and says “The last one to Tidmouth Sheds is a broken boiler!” There is no consequence of a sane God.
This is the list. I don’t want to discuss trains anymore.
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