“Chair Simulator” is a game about…sitting

All weekend, I finished my first Desktop gaming PC build, With RTX 3080, ultra-fast hard drive and more RGB than needed.Once I set it up completely, I didn’t push Cyberpunk 2077of Ray tracing Ability to play to the extreme. I did not delve into the world of overclocking.I didn’t even Mining a Satoshi Nakamoto. On the contrary, I am Chair simulator, A veritable free Steam game.

Chair simulator Is the latest drop MSCHF, Such as Jesus shoes (And subsequent Satan shoes), Finger on app, And install the paintball gun on Boston Dynamics Spot Robot. This game is stupid, meaningless, and very interesting-it’s the embodiment of that specific joy, the energy of a late night.

Everyone has heard of farming and immersive life simulators, but there are a lot of strange simulation games on Steam. Goat simulator with Microsoft Flight Simulator Are two well-known options, but players can also simulate obscure and usually mundane tasks, such as assembling computer, Power washing, with Winemaking. Chair simulator It definitely belongs to the latter category.

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do not Just sit there

Starting a new game will load ridiculous low-poly playable characters for selection. These names are worth noting-selected from Dillion Francis, FaZe Jarvis, Corinna Kopf, Mr. Beast and other MSCHF colleagues. (I play Nicoru, He happily calls me a baby boomer every time I sit down. ) Your goal is to sit down, earn sit points, and buy all 100 chairs. That’s it. That is your only goal. Partly relaxed, partly aggravated, this game is as strange as it sounds.

You earn Sit Points (SP) by sitting down (you guessed it). However, you need to pay close attention to your discomfort meter. If it becomes too high, you will get slower points. Ignore it again and you will die. Permanent. No state is saved.It’s like a lower bet Dark soul.

After sitting and standing for more than half an hour in my actual life on this planet, I navigated Neekolul to the only other environment in the game: an IKEA-style storefront, which provides a labyrinth-like showroom full of chairs. I passed a bean bag (50 SP), a piano bench (200 SP) and many other seating options. Then I stumbled upon the Iron Throne, which sells for up to 800 SP. I know what I must do.

I walked back to my introductory folding chair, sat down, stood up, reset my discomfort meter, and then sat down again. I upgraded to a slightly less uncomfortable chair — an Orgone option worth 450 SP — and started earning points faster. Finally, I accumulated enough money to unlock the Iron Throne. Although I didn’t have any tangible achievements, sitting down made me feel like Daenerys. I actually exclaimed: “I got the Iron Throne!“It’s in my living room at 3 in the morning. No one celebrates with me and cares about me. When I decide to complete the rest of the meaningless furniture illustration, no one can see the madness in my eyes.