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My husband has a hidden investment account. The beneficiaries are his ex-wife and son. I think he opened this investment account when we got married. In addition, we have an account in which the same son is the beneficiary and there are other children of my husband. How can I stop and make it fair?
My husband does not know that I know his hidden investment. Should I consult a lawyer first, or talk to my husband about his wrongdoing? What steps must I take to protect my finances?
-G.
Dear G,
The answer depends on how much you trust your husband. Was it shocking to understand this investment account? Or drawing investment into a secret account seems to be on par with his course?
If your husband is trustworthy and open to you on financial issues, I will start with him. You don’t need to use a full-scale confrontation model to solve this problem. Tell him what you found and ask him to explain.
You say you think he opened an investment account when you two got married-but you don’t know this is the case. If he did open an account when he married his ex, as part of the divorce agreement, he might be ordered to make her a beneficiary. Another possibility is that he just forgot to update the beneficiary, which is actually quite common.
I raise these possibilities because most people are not in a hurry to pay more money to their ex-spouse. Of course, he might hide money in the name of his ex-wife. But sometimes the simplest explanation is the correct explanation.
However, if your husband has acted dishonestly, or if he refuses to discuss financial issues with you, please consult a lawyer first. Of course, this will not free you from the difficult conversation with your husband. If you cannot trust your spouse, I will seriously question whether you are willing to continue this marriage.
Even if your husband’s explanation of this investment account is satisfactory to you, it sounds like you are not talking about money publicly. I cannot tell you how to distribute assets fairly among your husband’s children based on the little information I have. (It is not clear in your letter whether the other children are also yours.) But the two of you should meet with an estate planning lawyer to review your beneficiary designation and will.
Both of you should know each other’s assets and major expenses. This doesn’t mean you need to double check every $12 that other people buy on Amazon. But you should ask your husband to check any investment accounts and bank accounts that each of you has. Try to get into the habit of reviewing the money you spend and the money you bring every month. If your husband refuses, please consider this as a major red flag.
Robin Hartill is Penny Hoarder’s certified financial planner and senior writer.Send your tough money questions to [email protected] Or chat with her Penny Hoarders Community.
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