Should I Work 3 Jobs to Support My Sweet (but Lazy) Husband?

Dear Penny,

I’ve been with my husband for 16 years and married for seven years. I’m 50 years old now, and I feel like I’m raising another child.

I do everything: cook, clean, house repairs, while also raising my 5-year-old granddaughter. My husband makes very little money and is hardly able to come up with his share of rent. I work three jobs while he sits at home sometimes and does nothing around the house to help in any way.

I love him very much, and he is very loving! I’m just not sure how much more I can handle. I have a strong work ethic, but I’ve used up all my savings due to some medical bills and expenses he’s had in the past year and a half. How can I ever get ahead?

-Broke Old Lady

Dear Broke (Not-That-Old) Lady,

Maybe your husband is pleasant. Maybe he’s affectionate. But anyone who’s content to sit back as their spouse works three jobs AND runs the household AND raises a 5-year-old doesn’t sound loving to me.

Tell your husband the following: “I love you very much, but I’m at my breaking point. I can’t keep up with three jobs and all of the household chores on top of childcare. I’m so stressed about having zero savings. I can’t do any more. What can you do to take some of the pressure off of me?”

I’m not expecting your husband to be brimming with ideas off the bat. But at least by asking him what he can do, you’re planting the seed in his head that you expect him to be part of the solution. Because as things stand right now, his solution to every single problem is you.

Pay close attention to how he responds when you put this out there. Does he at least acknowledge that it’s a problem that you’re stressed to the brink? Or does he insist that there’s no problem and he’s working as hard as he can? Because if it’s the latter, what he’s telling you is his needs come first, even if he’s not saying it in so many words.

Try volunteering your husband for some tasks. When…

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