In the past six years, I have chosen a word for this year. This word became my subject or my overall guide on how to deal with this year.
last year, My words this year are actually a phrase: Appear. It has had such a huge impact on my life, I will share more about it in the podcast to be released next week.
For 2021, I think I have a word for almost the entire December. It’s a good word, but it feels a bit like escape, because it won’t really push me out of my comfort zone, stretch me, or challenge me in a profound way.
Not January 2nd, I was reading a book, and suddenly I knew that the word I should choose suddenly appeared in front of me. I immediately resisted it because I knew it was a word that would stretch and push me.
One day, I wrestled with this. Can’t I choose simpler words? But no, I know in my heart that the word I resist is the word I should choose. I learned that where there is resistance, I often need to pay attention and really lean towards resistance.
So, what is my commitment to 2022?it is Stay.
Last year’s appearance challenged me in such a good and profound way. Make yourself available to others. Pursue intentional proximity. Do not keep your distance from others. Willing to step into chaotic, awkward and uncomfortable situations.
But the appearance is the beginning. When we show up, the real work happens when we choose to stay.
To be honest, I have left many times in my life. When things become awkward and uncomfortable, it is easier to leave. When interpersonal relationships become difficult and chaotic, it is safer to leave. When I am tired of something, I tend to shift to another shiny thing.
I am also the recipient of those who leave my life. I am saddened by the loss of a relationship. Some people are because I am too much, or not enough, because they are jealous, or in some cases, I really don’t know why… They just stopped answering my questions and chose to leave my life. Text or stop wanting to get together.
Sometimes, I keep making big mistakes. Sometimes, I don’t, but my strong personality is too much for someone. I have experienced in essence, “You are not worth fighting for. This relationship is not worth the effort (hope) to become stronger on the other side.”
In the past few years, I have experienced a lot of my own insecurities and injuries that have led to many dysfunctions in relationships for decades. I also realized that I often rely on people and relationships to fill in the gaps in my life that only God can fill. As a result, I set very unreasonable expectations of others.
Knowing how much God loves me and living on this love has completely changed my relationships. I no longer seek affirmation and approval from others. I know how deeply I am loved by God, so I can love others with all my heart.
But even though I have completed all this deeply rooted work, the idea of choosing the word “stay” this year still scares me. What will this mean? What does it need? What will it cost? I don’t know, but I want to faithfully say “yes” to what God has called me to do, and stay faithfully where he placed me, even if it is difficult and uncomfortable.
I don’t know what this year will look like, but I have a feeling that some spiritual lessons will be involved. I want to be open, willing and available to everything. I want to be a person to stay.
Did you choose a word for 2022? If so, I would love to hear your choice!
More posts about my previous year’s words: