I’m Desperate for Money, but My Boyfriend Loathes My Side Gig

Dear Penny,

My live-in boyfriend and I both work. He makes about two to three times more than I do.

I love my job, but it’s not making me enough money. I get very anxious about bills and expenses, even though my boyfriend helps with the bills. He pays half of each bill we share, and he is usually fine with paying for other things we need. I am feeling the need to make more money for myself, so I recently signed up for DoorDash to help myself out.

Here is the issue: We share my car, and we both need it for our primary jobs. My boyfriend is limiting the time I can go out and dash because he is worried that something might happen to the car while I am out dashing.

It seems like he doesn’t trust me enough to drive for more money, yet he asks me to trust that he will make sure all the bills get paid. The bills are coming out of my account, and he gives me the cash to deposit for them.

I don’t want to fight about this, but we have talked about this before. I just don’t know what to do. Any suggestions?

-Broke and Anxious

Dear Broke and Anxious,

Your boyfriend either needs to shoulder a bigger share of the bills, or he needs to stop interfering with your ability to earn more. There’s not much middle ground here.

If something doesn’t change, your worries will only compound over time. You can work with your boyfriend on a compromise, but ultimately, it will boil down to you earning more or him paying more.

But I don’t think the car is the real issue here. The way you’re splitting expenses clearly isn’t working for you. A 50-50 split usually doesn’t make sense when one person significantly outearns the other. Sure, it may work on paper for the months when everything goes as planned, but not when the unexpected expenses creep up.

Think about what it would take for you not to feel broke and anxious. Quantify it if possible. For example, would you sleep soundly if you were earning an extra $500 a month? Or if you had…

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