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Sometimes, you must help your family through difficult times. But for some family members, every day is the worst day of their lives. Only you and you are the only power to avoid disaster-or at least this is how they will make you feel.
In your two years as a humble advice columnist, pro-family members have been a common theme in Dear Penny’s column. Many people will tell you to keep only one poker face and then practice saying “no”.
But to be honest. It is not that simple. When your family wants you to continue to help them, this motivation has usually been going on for many years. Changing their expectations is not easy, because the authors of the five letters are all very familiar.
“My family treats me like an ATM”
Dear enny,
I have been the only job since my wife and my first child, which can sometimes bring pressure, especially when I am laid off.
We just bought the first house together, and now my mother stays with us temporarily until she finds a job and an apartment. In addition, my father called back for a few months to ask for money, and then today. This leaves my wife and I almost no savings.
We were not harmed, but this caused major concerns about our future, especially when my job was unstable. How can I provide food for so many people and keep our savings?
-Stuck
Stuck honey,
You can do another job. You may experience harassment five to five times. You can work 100 hours or more a week. Heck, if you really want to continue your family life, you can do a lot of work and even give up sleeping.
But I doubt that you already know the answer to the question: you cannot continue to serve so many people and keep your savings intact.
Read the full text Here.
“My daughter lied to me with my car loan”
Dear enny,
Three years ago, my daughter had no job, no car, and no credit, but she had a brand new university degree. I helped her buy a car so that she can search for a job. I agreed to pay $343 each month for the first three months, but I put her name on the car. If there is an accident, I don’t want to take any responsibility.
Okay, well that was a big mistake. Three months later, even though she was working, she still asked for an extension of her job, which I approved…Three years later (with a five-year loan), she never received any payment. She finally stopped worrying about making excuses and called me selfish and a.
The auto dealership finance department stated that they could not even talk to me because the title was not my name. The bank said that if I stop paying the bill, the car will be taken back. I have paid more than $17,000 for this car.
Now, my daughter and I don’t talk anymore. At the same time, she lives beyond her ability. She disappointed me so much… What should I do to get myself out of this situation?
-P.
Dear
Your daughter can either do human affairs or pay what she agrees to. Or, she can continue to drive the car for free, knowing that her mother can borrow money legally.
Unfortunately, the choice is hers. I hope I have a better answer to you.
Read the full text Here.
“My husband refuses to continue working”
Dear enny,
Since I left the pharmacy for 11 years, my husband has been changing jobs. He has his own account, but he is still using our joint account without making any contributions. He refused to contribute to the family. He also owed $8,000 in credit card debt in his own name.
He wanted my help to start a new company, but I refused because he already had four failed companies. He pressured me and said that I did not trust him.
I thought about divorce, but I was scared. what can I do?
-T
Dear T.,
This marriage sounds like trying to participate in a marathon in cement shoes. It doesn’t matter how well your job or your wife is doing. You have nowhere to go, because every step is a struggle.
Therefore, you need to consider what makes yourself more afraid: divorce or live like this forever? Because from your description, I think these are just two options for you.
Read the full text Here.
“My unemployed niece lives in a family house without rent”
Dear enny,
Recently, we had to move our mother to a nursing home. Before moving, my niece had already lived with her.
When my mother is here, there is no rent for foreign women. She still lives here and still has not paid. She is unemployed, but has been unemployed. She has been there since September last year. Mom went to the nursing home in February…
My niece paid a lot of money to her roommate before moving with her mother. She has accumulated savings for many months, and because she does not have to pay rent or utility bills, her expenses are very low. My brother is an enduring power of attorney. He closed the cable, but the Internet was still open. Add natural gas, oil, electricity, property taxes and maintenance costs…
Someone needs to tell the niece that she needs to start paying some fees. I don’t know how to bring it to her…
-L
Dear L.,
When you offered to let your niece stay in your mother’s home, you did not exempt her from her lifetime rent. The conversation you are about to have should not be shocking. Please note that I am saying “should” instead of “no” here. I suspect that shock is entirely the reaction you will get.
Read the full text Here.
“My sister said she cannot be expelled from her father’s house”
Dear enny,
My sister and son moved into their father’s one-bedroom apartment in July, which violated the lease. I am very opposed to this life situation because it is too small for two adults and a despicable child. My sister said that she had no choice because she had poor credit, low savings, and was expelled… Their relationship deteriorated. I don’t think they can continue to live together. My aunt signed a contract with my father and said that if my father worked with her to manage money, he could stay in her spare bedroom. My aunt has been trying hard to help me because she knows that I am unwilling to mediate their arguments and financial situation.
I told my sister that we will need to find another place for her after April. If she sits down with me to manage money, I will sign a contract with her. She cried and said that it was impossible to find a place to be unemployed, and no one cared that she would eventually become homeless.
She said that if the management would not let her take over the lease, she would refuse to leave the apartment. She believes that since she is a single mother with children, they will not be able to deport her. I have explained that since she is a co-signer, it may have a negative impact on her guest records and aunt, but my sister said that everything will be fine. She cannot be with me because I am the head of the dormitory of my alma mater, which gives me and my partner a free apartment.
How should I continue with my sister? Am I too supportive or not enough?
-Sisters fight
Dear sister,
When someone tells you they are going to behave badly, listen. I don’t care if your sister has been in charge for three months. She obviously does not intend to remain responsible. She also made it clear that she was fighting for the fight.please Don’t sign together Serve her and let her lay down your credibility in the process.
Read the full text Here.
Need assistance to solve the problem?Send your question to [email protected]. Robin Hartill is a registered financial planner and senior writer for The Penny Hoarder.
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