Do I Have to Send a Gift if I Was Uninvited From a Wedding?

Dear Penny,

I need some insight into today’s wedding protocol. My sister’s stepdaughter is getting married. I received a non-personalized notecard saying that the wedding is downsizing, and essentially, my family didn’t make the official invitation list.

I’m not offended that I didn’t make the cut, as we are not close and have no direct communication. The note included their wedding website registry info. The only item on their registry is a donation to their house-buying fund. Am I still required to send a contribution/gift?


Dear R.,

Wedding etiquette is among the most divisive topics that exist in the world of advice columns. And as someone who’s never been married and who hasn’t attended a wedding in three years, I’m a bit rusty on the topic.

Fortunately, though, all corners of the internet — from etiquette experts to wedding forums to Reddit — seem united on this one: You do not have to send a gift to a wedding you’re not invited to, especially since you’re not close to the couple.

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