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I am 69 years young, yet I am in a quandary regarding birthday and Christmas gifts for my wonderful posterity of four children and 14 grandchildren. Two of the grandchildren are married, and three of my children have a spouse or partner.
We are on Social Security. What do I do? I have been gifting all my life, but now I am unsure if I will have enough if my husband dies first and then I am left with less Social Security. How do I proceed?
-V.
Dear V.,
Social Security cost-of-living adjustments barely keep up with rising prices each year. They certainly don’t leave room to expand your gifting budget with each new addition to an already large extended family.
I’m sure your children and grandchildren have appreciated your generosity over the years. But when you’re buying presents for nearly two dozen people twice a year, those costs add up fast. Even if you spend just $15 or $20 on each gift, that’s a real strain when you live on a fixed income. Meanwhile, the benefit to each recipient is relatively minor. I don’t think your family would want those gifts to keep coming if they knew the price was your long-term security.
You and your husband should have a heart-to-heart chat with your kids. Tell them you’re worried about money. Say that you won’t be able to keep gifting the way you have in the past. Since it sounds like you have a loving family, I think they’ll be grateful for your honesty.
This isn’t just about setting expectations for future birthdays and holidays. Often, adult children find it awkward to talk to their parents about their finances. But these conversations are essential to have. It’s best to start talking about money when there isn’t a looming crisis. This is especially important if you think you might need your children to help you out as you get older.
Moving forward, your approach to giving needs to be determined by what you can afford — not by what you’ve done in the past,…
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