You can buy cheesy doormats and tell the delivery driver, “please hide the package from my husband” or “please hide the package from my wife”.
Splurge seems to be a dirty little secret for many people.
Recent penny hoarders Surveyed the budgets and spending habits of nearly 2,000 Americans And found that a quarter of the interviewees kept their partner secret out of fear of how their partner would react.
Of these, 57% are women. The survey also found that 62% of people said they had made a secret purchase and had credit card debt.
Those who conceal their purchases from their significant other are also more likely to spend the past two years on things that affect their ability to pay bills.
What makes us so confidential about our expenditures?
“I think this is largely related to not talking about money,” said Brittany Davis, an accredited financial adviser and assistant financial planner. Brunch and budget“People don’t like to talk about money, I think it needs to stop.”
Manage money-honestly-as a couple
Experts say that people remain silent about their spending because it is easier than it might upset their partner. If you know that saying “I dropped $200 on Nike” or “I will put my full effort into cryptocurrency” will spark controversy, then it is tempting to remain silent.
Talking about money around a common goal can help couples eliminate secret spending.
Erin Lowry, author of “Break Millennials Talking About Money” recently spoke with The Penny Hoarder Have difficult financial conversationsOne of her advice to couples is to jointly set financial goals and refer to these goals when there is a disagreement about how to spend money.
“[Think] About what you want this year, what you want in the next three to five years, what do you want your future to be,” Lowry said. “Does your money align with these goals? “
Set goals and you will actually achieve them by achieving them Smart goalThey should be specific, measurable, achievable, relevant and timely.
Establish a regular budget date night or Family budget meeting It is a way to develop the habit of discussing money openly.
“You don’t have to enter the numbers,” Davis said. “You can talk,’Hey, I feel guilty about this consumption habit.'”
“Our goal is to make the meeting short and easy, and discuss where you are now and where you want to be,” said Scott Henderson, a certified financial consultant and marketing manager. coin.
He suggested that couples decide how much each person can spend each month. This is a guilt-free and problem-free expenditure.establish one Interesting money Budgeting gives everyone the freedom to spend money as they wish, without worrying about the reaction of their partner — and without hindering financial obligations or goals.
Do you really want those Nikes? If you have $200 in your entertainment fund, go for it.
Sharing the same budget tool can help. coinHenderson said, for example, this is a budgeting app that allows couples to set up a joint account with real-time transaction notifications, so that each partner can fully understand what happened to their money.
Not ready to share so much? Another solution for couples is to separate their finances. You all promise to pay part of the agreed household bills, expenses, and savings, and you can spend the rest at will.
There is no need to keep your significant other secret, because you have incorporated this autonomy into your expenses.
Know when to bring in professionals
Not all financial problems in relationships can be easily resolved. Sometimes it is better to hire a professional before getting into another argument.
A kind financial consultant Or a financial therapist—both are very different from a financial planner or consultant—can help you resolve financial infidelity in your relationship.Financial Advisory and Planning Education Association You can search for the portal of Certified Financial Advisor (AFC). Financial Therapy Association maintains Financial Therapist Directory.
The Financial Counseling and Planning Education Association is offering free counseling courses for people in financial difficulties due to the pandemic.
Regardless of whether you seek help from an objective third party, it is important to develop a plan that allows everyone to have a certain degree of autonomy in spending without destroying your collective financial goals.
Because no one needs to spend secretly to destroy their finances or their relationships.
Nicole Dow is the senior writer of The Penny Hoarder.