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My team is collecting a joint wedding gift for a new employee in our office. She has been working for about a month, and our team consists of directors and junior employees (she is an entry-level employee).
My question is: what is the appropriate amount to contribute to the collective gift? Even if the directors do not work directly with the recipient, do they want to give more? We will give a VISA gift card, so we don’t have to pay a certain amount to get a gift from the registry.
No staff member was invited to the wedding as a guest, because we didn’t know enough about her. I realized that apart from the person who organized the gift, no one would know how much I contributed, but because this is a wedding, I feel that I should give more to people I don’t know than usual.
What do you think?
-D.
Dear D.,
This woman’s wedding is undoubtedly a major event in her life, but honestly: it’s no big deal for you.
We all have many acquaintances, and everyone will celebrate the major events in their lives. But we only have so much money, time and brain space. So we must focus our resources on our dearest people. The office hierarchy seems irrelevant here because you are not working closely with the employee.
You are not obligated to contribute anything. But in fact, when colleagues ask for money, there is a lot of pressure. Since it doesn’t sound like tipping will cause you difficulties, I say more than $10 or $20.
A good habit that can help you think about gift giving is to budget a small amount for gifts each month. It is based on how much you can afford to spend on gifts, and how much you want to spend.Keep a separate bank account for this only Budget category You can simplify things even further.
The goal is not just to stop yourself from spending too much money on gifts. Treating the money you have to spend on other people’s special occasions forces you to decide what is important to you. If you feel that you need to give someone who has a role in your life to commemorate their special occasion, you eventually have to accept that this may mean spending less on your best friend’s birthday gift or your parents’ anniversary gift Money.
As for how to solve the problem of collective gift giving in the office, I think there are some important lessons here. First of all, anyone who organizes office gifts should understand that people don’t just contribute out of goodwill. No one wants to look like the petty man in the office.
If your financial situation is stable, this may not seem like a big deal, but when you make a living on your salary, pooling money for random wedding gifts, birthday cakes, and gifts away from home can be a real stress throughout the year. Don’t assume that you know if the people you work with are struggling.
If you are responsible for coordinating, please make it easy for anyone to contribute without being ashamed. Send an email to everyone who fills out the plan. Make it clear that giving is completely optional. If someone doesn’t give it, suppose there is a reason, it’s none of your business. Under no circumstances should gossip about who gives what is tolerated.
In addition, please be cautious before asking employees to contribute to someone in a higher position. Again, I don’t think your respective ranks are the main factor here, because you don’t work directly with the bride-to-be. I am also very happy that you all prepared a gift for an entry-level employee. However, if entry-level employees are asked to provide gifts to their boss, it will make me stop.
Alison Green Ask the manager A good rule of thumb here is that gifts in the workplace should flow downwards, not upwards. In other words, it is okay for managers to give gifts to employees, but employees should not be required to pay for gifts from the boss.
Personally, each of you wants to know how much is appropriate to give, and how much others give. But in general, it doesn’t matter how much you pay. You are showing your new colleague that she is welcome. I believe that no matter how big or small, she and her future spouse will appreciate this beautiful gesture.
Robin Hartill is Penny Hoarder’s certified financial planner and senior writer.Send your tough money questions to [email protected].
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