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I recently ran across your column about the boyfriend who wanted his girlfriend to pay his billswhich was of interest to me.
I am a middle-aged, currently single man, who has been in a relationship for 10 years with a woman who started as a friend way before that. She is divorced and has no kids at home. She got an inheritance from her parents when they passed that allowed her to retire at 58, pay off her house and become debt-free, while allowing for ample travel, investing, etc.
To this date, I have no idea how much money she has, (she freaked out the one time I asked) but clearly it was enough to stop working completely. Her dad was a doctor, so I am sure the amount was comfortable.
I am still working in my 60s, which is my choice. No inheritance for me, but I have been able to save a decent amount of money via a 401(k), while still being able to enjoy life as a middle-class person . I have no doubt she has more money socked away due to the inheritance than me, but I dare not ask.
All that being said, I am in somewhat of a reverse situation in that we also live about an hour away from each other and pretty much have a weekend relationship going on as well. I do 75% of the trips, which is around 150 miles round trip. I also pay for all the meals, outside entertainment, etc. I don’t expect her to contribute toward any household bills, and neither does she.
On the other hand, I spend at least $500 per month on us going out to eat, entertainment, etc. She never offers to pay for anything, much less drive us anywhere, even once in a while. She subscribes to the old school, where the man pays for everything.
In my mind, it’s not even a money thing. It’s more of the principle — every now and then, offer to treat me. I’m still out there working, being self-sufficient, while she is doing whatever she wants every day.
I’d be curious as to your thoughts on this. I do love being with her, but it sure seems like it is a one-sided…
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