My Sister Is Broke Due to Her Freeloading Sons. Do I Help Her Anyway?

My sister left her husband and moved into the city I live in now, living a block away from me. Shortly after, her two sons (currently 28 and 25) moved here also and live with her.

The oldest hasn’t worked since 2017 because my sister says he has anxiety issues. He’s worked before, and it’s my view he’s manipulating her. He signed up for COVID unemployment in 2020 and received it until I brought attention to it. had anxiety and stutter my entire life and I’ve worked since I was 14. The youngest works off and on. He will work a job for a few weeks and then quit because it’s not exactly what he wants. He has this luxury of course because he has a roof over his head and food.

My sister is a schoolteacher who will turn 61 in a few months. The burden of all the bills usually is on her. She also drives Uber and tutors to try to make ends meet. She received $40,000 from her divorce last year, and that money is already gone. Her sons won’t get the COVID vaccine, and the younger one was in the hospital for two weeks. I’m pretty sure she paid the hospital bill with her divorce money.

I spoke to her last night and she is super down because her car broke down so she can’t Uber to make money for bills. She can’t afford to pay the rent and will have to pay the cost of the car being fixed in payments.

I’ve spoken to her many times about how she should insist that her sons work to help out. She now just shuts down if I talk about it. I’m sure she won’t change her situation.

My question is, I could help but I feel it would be enabling the situation and she would be in the same situation in a month or two. I don’t really have extra money but do fine. Should I help out financially when there are three possible breadwinners in the house and they aren’t helping? I’ve offered to find her financial counseling as well.

-M.